I AM ONE Podcast by Postpartum Support International

I AM ONE PSI RESOURCE: Online Support Groups (English)

• Episode 58

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On today’s episode, we’re spotlighting PSI’s Online Support Groups - an incredible, FREE resource available to anyone! PSI Support Groups are not a replacement for therapy. They are, however, an incredible way for folks to connect with others & feel less alone. Hip, hip, hooray for Peer Support! 

For this conversation, we’re bringing in an expert - the charismatic Kristina Ledlow. She’s a Certified Childbirth Educator, she’s certified in Perinatal Mental Health, and we can certify that she’s doing SO much to support folks in the perinatal here on Postpartum Support International’s staff and as a volunteer. She does a fantastic job of answering all of our burning questions! 

So, if you are interested in peer support - in the form of a FREE specialized online support groups, know someone who is, or are just interested in learning more – sit back, relax, and enjoy this special episode spotlighting PSI's Online Support Groups!

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Email Dani Giddens - dani@postpartum.net

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Dani:

Welcome to the I Am One Podcast. On today's episode, we're spotlighting PSI's online support groups, an incredible free resource available to anyone. PSI support groups are not a replacement for therapy. They are, however, an incredible way for folks to connect with others and feel less alone. For this conversation, we're bringing in an expert, Kristina Ledlow. She's a certified childbirth educator. She's certified in perinatal mental health, and we can certify that she's doing so much to support folks in the perinatal period here at Postpartum Support International on staff and as a volunteer. She does a fantastic job of answering all of our burning questions. So if you are interested in free, specialized online support groups, know someone who is, or are just interested in learning more, sit back, relax, and enjoy this special episode spotlighting PSI's online support groups. Kristina, welcome to the podcast studio. We are so happy to be here with you today to chat about an incredible resource here at Postpartum Support International. We are going to be asking you all of our burning questions today about PSI's online support groups in English. I'm emphasizing in English because there are support groups in Spanish, correct?

Kristina:

There are. There are many support groups in Spanish.

Dani:

Yeah. But today we're just going, we will have another episode about Spanish support groups. So if you're interested, stay tuned. But today we're talking about the English support groups. So anyway, all of that to say, thank you so much for being here. We're so happy that you're here.

Kristina:

Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.

Emily:

Kristina, who are you?

Kristina:

Oh, who am I? So I am Kristina Guerrero Ledlow. I use pronouns she, her, and ella. I have been with PSI in various capacities. I've been doing these support groups in terms of facilitating them for, I think it's been just a little over three years now. I teach the postpartum planning class for PSI. I also chair the Michigan chapter for PSI. I work in perinatal mental health in our local healthcare system. I'm out of Kalamazoo, Michigan. And I've got two kiddos of my own that are 17 and 14. I'm also a certified birth doula, and a certified childbirth educator, as well as certified in perinatal mental health.

Dani:

I mean, dang. Holy cow.

Emily:

So you're also certified to be awesome. I love that.

Kristina:

Oh, thank you. I'm gonna add that to my bio. Thank you.

Dani:

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Emily:

Yes.

Dani:

There should be a couple extra letters there.

Kristina:

I like that. I'll do it.

Dani:

Okay, Kristina, thank you for that introduction. Can you give us kind of a general overview of what are PSI's online support groups? What's the elevator pitch? Tell us about them.

Kristina:

So when I am talking to new parents, the way I like to describe it is these groups are a place that you can connect with other people in that perinatal time period who just get it. They understand because they're too. Whatever challenges that you're going through, we pretty much have a support group for it. I think we run over, like, 50 different ones now. So there are groups for pregnancy, postpartum, fertility challenges, grief and loss. There's definitely a place where you can feel that inclusivity and community.

Dani:

That's really incredible because I know a handful of years ago there were just, you know, a few support groups, right? And just over the last two, three years, like it's just exploded. There are so many specialized support groups, which is so cool. We will put a link to the support groups page in the show notes. So if you're looking for something special, oh my gosh, it's just– it's so cool.

Kristina:

I would agree.

Emily:

Okay. So if I am a new mom, I identify as a mom. So I'm using myself as the example, right? But, like, I'm a new parent, mom, dad, non-binary. And I am looking to connect with people in this way where I can be like, hey, I have intrusive thoughts, and people will be like, same.

Kristina:

Yeah.

Emily:

That's rough, right? Like, no need to further explain what an intrusive thought is or how frustrating or debilitating they can be. How do I get to a support group? If I'm like, ooh, this sounds really good, I want to be able to be in community with people who, like, just get it.

Dani:

Like, do people go online?

Kristina:

Yes, that is a great question. So you can go right to our website. And I know that you all are gonna put a link, I think, for that too, right?

Emily:

Yes.

Dani:

We definitely will.

Kristina:

Because you can go to the website and then there's, you know, different tabs. You can go to the get help and it'll take you to support groups. But if you start from our website and you're on the area where it talks about online support groups, it will actually, when you go to register, take you to another platform where it's called ShareWell. ShareWell is just the platform where we sort of house our support groups. They're always free. If you do go to ShareWell and there are other things that you can take part in in Sharewell, you do have to pay. You never have to pay though for PSI. So even though we're on that platform, I just want to be really clear that it is never going to cost you any money. You go to ShareWell, you make your account on ShareWell. It's going to give you all of the information there where you can access the PSI support groups. There's dedicated communities. And if you do have any questions, you can always reach out to groups @ postpartum.net.

Emily:

Is ShareWell, if I've never been to it, is it sort of like Eventbrite, where like some of the stuff is free? Like our stuff, PSI stuff is free. So you could sign up to attend a thing. Like you get your ticket, as it were– but it's not a ticket– for a support group, but you get your spot. So it's like that. But then there's other things through Eventbrite where you could be like, I want to go to a concert, but you're paying to go to a concert.

Kristina:

You're spot on. So when you do go up to ShareWell and you register to make your account there, you'll skip the unlimited offer on the payment page because all of our groups are free. And then it allows you to access the PSI support groups in the dedicated communities that you can find there on ShareWell.

Emily:

Got it.

Dani:

Great. So you find the group that you want to attend and you register for it. What if somebody doesn't know, like, okay, so you said that there are lots of specialized support groups. Are there any general support groups? If you are like, I don't know, some people don't even know how they're feeling. Are there just kind of some like, general new parent support groups that are not necessarily specialized? Okay, cool.

Kristina:

There's so many. So let me just kind of walk you through it. When you first go to PSI's page and you'll see a list, it's almost overwhelming, but there's so many different ones that you can look at and you will see that there are general ones. So general ones for pregnancy, postpartum, both. Some that are just for partners, some that partners and moms and birthing persons can attend together. So there are very general ones, and then you'll see very specialized ones. Then when you actually register and you attend a group, I kind of want to walk you through what the group's like.

Dani:

Yeah, tell us what it's like.

Kristina:

The groups are 90 minutes, so an hour and a half in length. The first 30 minutes is involved providing information, education. This is establishing the group guidelines. And this part's really important because not only does it give information on other available PSI resources, but the education part is often the eye-opening part to so many of our newer attendees because this is so much of that help for them to understand the symptoms that they're experiencing. This is something that's– not only is it such a thing, we actually have research and we're giving you education on this. So there's this real moment where you see everyone kind of, oh, okay, like wow, I'm in the right place.

Emily:

This thing has a name.

Kristina:

Exactly. And when you were referencing OCD, for instance, there's the general groups where we talk in general, but there's the OCD group. So then we're talking about, hey, do you know that our brains actually change? And this is what a brain that's dealing with OCD looks like, and this is one that doesn't. And then you see this sort of, like, moment where everybody starts to feel more in community, less isolated. There's just a shared understanding. So it's– that education part is also just such a critical part of the healing as well. And then we do our introductions and we have 60 minutes of like, basically talk time and community time where everyone just is able to talk about what's on their heart.

Emily:

Yeah.

Dani:

Who leads the support groups? Is it like a therapist? Is it somebody with lived experience?

Kristina:

I love that you asked that because it's so important that we have people that are leading these groups that understand and have lived experience because it is a peer support group. And so, exactly. So it's not a therapy group. There's a difference, right? So therapy groups are a form of professional mental health treatment led by an expert with a focus on more of like a structured kind of recovery for specific issues. But a peer support group is led with individuals with lived experience that are focusing on this, you know, mutual supportive, emotional help. We're all sort of coping together. And so your leaders are going to have that lived experience. And many of them actually also have experience within the perinatal mental health world as well, professionally.

Dani:

You know what else is really cool? This is like a little fun fact about some of the support group leaders. Some of the support group leaders have actually been attendees in online PSI support groups. So that's also, I think, pretty cool.

Kristina:

It's amazing.

Emily:

It's like you've graduated.

Kristina:

Yes, exactly. There's that element of: you've been there and you're out the other side. I can do this too.

Emily:

Yes.

Dani:

That is cool. Okay. Um, follow-up question. Is there a cap on how many support groups you can attend each week? Do you have, like a punch card? Can you attend every day?

Emily:

Yeah, do you get a free coffee after you've gone to so many?

Kristina:

That would be awesome because then we could actually, like, see each other. But no, there is not, there is not a cap on how many you can attend. I always tell people you can attend one a day if you wanted to. That's what is available for you. Then do it. There is a cap on how many are allowed in the group. So it's important to be on time for the groups.

Dani:

Okay.

Kristina:

Because we always want people to be able to talk and contribute. So we cap at 16 participants.

Dani:

Great.

Kristina:

When we have reached that limit, we will put a note in the message if somebody comes afterwards and let them know where they can register for others, if they weren't able to make that one. Cause again, we're running them all the time, but we do keep it small so that it does feel that sense of community and that intimacy that you need from a peer support group, as well.

Dani:

Will somebody know if a support group– I've just got all of the questions.

Kristina:

I love that.

Emily:

I have one too. So I'm next.

Dani:

Hold on. It's my turn, Emily. Hang on. Thanks. Um, when somebody goes to register for a support group, will they see that it's capped? Like will they not be able to register?

Kristina:

They will be able to register. They just want to be there on time. So it's not going to tell them that it's capped. And it's actually better that way because sometimes you will have people that life happens and they don't necessarily make it to group. So if you were not able to register because there was a cap and someone was not going to be there, then they would miss out on that opportunity. So they don't, they're not going to put that on there. Just being there on time typically will get you in.

Dani:

Okay. Great. Be there on time.

Kristina:

Yes, be there on time.

Dani:

Plan ahead. Set yourself a reminder 15 minutes early or something, you know? Life hacks.

Kristina:

Yes, I like it.

Emily:

Okay. My question is a little bit different. And this is totally off script. But we've all been to like, I don't know, that like mom's night where you've got like, the one mom friend who, like, totally monopolizes the conversation. And you're like, you're like, but I have stuff I need, like, you know, my kid isn't doing their homework and I need to complain about it right now. Or my baby is not sleeping through the night, and I am super frustrated, and I need some space held for me. And I need people who can go, like, I promise this actually won't last for forever, right? What happens like as someone who's maybe a little socially anxious? Do you have a way that you handle that so that, like, no one feels like they didn't get a chance?

Kristina:

I love that you asked that because I've been there, right? In that position that you just explained. Yes, we do. We're really good at our jobs when it comes to facilitating. And we also establish community guidelines in the very beginning during that educational portion of things. We talk about community guidelines. And one of them is that we want to make sure that everybody who's present that wants and desires the opportunity to share gets the opportunity to share. So we do have rules in place, quote unquote rules, that we talk about to make sure that we don't have anybody that is necessarily monopolizing the conversation. That being said, I'll be honest with you, it's not very common that we have that. We have a really good balance. People that come to these groups tend to be there because they understand, they not only want to share, but they also do want to hold that space for people. So we have guidelines in place and we also have really wonderful, compassionate, empathetic peers that are present.

Emily:

That's amazing. Can you guys come to our mom's night outs? Like, can you facilitate like my social situations? Just kidding.

Dani:

Speaking of peers, Kristina, can you tell us why is peer support so vital to healing for folks? Like going and seeing a therapist, great. Right. But talk to us about peer support.

Kristina:

So peer support is so vital to healing because it addresses the isolation, the stigma, and oftentimes that hopelessness, right, that happens with the isolation and the stigma.

Dani:

Like that feeling of, like, I'm alone in this, like this is like a personal personality flaw. This is all me. This is like–

Kristina:

Exactly.

Dani:

Okay.

Kristina:

It's unique because it provides this non-clinical form of support. It's ultimately grounded in that power, just like you said, of that shared lived experience.

Emily:

Yeah.

Kristina:

So peers, just like I said, also typically have this level of empathy and understanding that non-peers, not that our professionals, you know, are not, but they're not your peers. So it's different. They can't fully replicate that in necessarily like a therapy setting, right? Where it's just you and a therapist. Because your peers have walked the same path, they're going to get it. So you're going to get a different sort of validation from them than you do get in the other setting. So there's no need for explanation, like you feel like you have to in so many other ways, because there's not that fear of judgment, because they get it.

Dani:

Totally.

Kristina:

It's really important.

Dani:

Yeah.

Emily:

I think I have the perfect metaphor for this. And it might be because I have high school students, but hear me out. Okay. When you are a freshman on your first day of high school, like the school feels big, you're very like, ooh, like, I don't know what the next couple of years are going to look like. You don't know that it's going to get more comfortable and that you're going to be, I don't know, more coming into your new self, like your new high school self. So you, as the brand new mom on the first day, or brand new dad or brand new partner on the first day in this support group, you're like, I'm brand new at this. Am I doing this right? How's my outfit?

Dani:

Am I going to remember how to unlock my locker? Oh my gosh.

Kristina:

Yes.

Emily:

Right. Everything feels overwhelming.

Dani:

Yeah.

Emily:

But then you're a sophomore. Or like, then you have a three-month-old, right? And so then, like, you're like, oh my God, like, remember when we were freshmen and we were worried about this, or like, so like, you then can be the helpful upperclassman. So you get, because of the way peer support works, right? Like, you get to first be the person who's new and be like, oh my gosh, I've never done this before. It's all a lot. And then there's someone who's been at this just a little bit longer, or maybe this is their second kid and they're in the support group for whatever it is, anxiety or a fourth degree tear or whatever, right?

Dani:

Oh, way to bring that up. Jeez.

Emily:

It's rough.

Dani:

That took a turn there.

Emily:

And then you're a senior, right? So, like because you get to have this progression.

Kristina:

Well, I think that's what's unique.

Emily:

Yeah.

Kristina:

Because you have people that are coming for the first time, and then you have people that are there and are more regular. And then you have your facilitators with a lived experience, right? So you are explaining it beautifully. It's a way that you get to see that progression and also that healing in real time, when you are around the same people on a regular basis.

Emily:

Yeah.

Kristina:

It's a really awesome shared experience.

Emily:

It's like the reminder that you're not actually going to be a freshman for forever.

Kristina:

Yeah.

Emily:

Like time isn't frozen.

Kristina:

No, time's not frozen.

Emily:

It feels like it sometimes.

Kristina:

It does feel like that. And I think people feel nervous about, you know, coming to groups for the first time, but it is the most caring, compassionate, wonderful space. One of the best, best experiences I had in a group. I had this beautiful woman that had been a regular at the fertility challenges group. And this was, like, probably close to when I had first started doing groups. And she summed it up so well. We were talking about why do you come to group? And she said, I come to group to hear my name and to know that I am seen and that I'm heard. And that was the most amazing. I also love to close out groups that way. Now by saying, Dani, Emily, I'm so glad you were here. I hope you felt seen and heard, because that was so powerful for me to hear that from her. And it's true. We want to feel seen and heard.

Dani:

Oh my gosh, Kristina. Well, this is an audio only episode. My eyeballs are all teary. I just got goosebumps everywhere. Aw, yeah. Even now, just now, when you said my name, I was like, oh, right.

Emily:

Yes.

Dani:

Yeah, I feel seen.

Emily:

Mm-hmm.

Dani:

That's so lovely. I have another question. I have so many burning questions. If somebody has a suggestion for a group that they don't see listed, do you, like, have a comment section, like box where you take suggestions?

Kristina:

So we always have a feedback form. So that absolutely you can put something on that. But you can also, if you are looking for a group and you don't see something that is what you feel like you need, you can also reach out to that groups @ postpartum.net.

Dani:

Perfect. Just shoot an email.

Kristina:

Yeah.

Dani:

Okay. And just say, hey, have you ever thought about this specialized group? And then it'll be on the radar. Cool. Emily, do you have other uh burning questions about– why do I keep saying burning? Nothing's burning. I just...

Emily:

I just had this thought, though. I was like, oh my gosh, we need a quiz. We need a like a personality type quiz, but for groups where you're like, I need to go to a support group, but like I'm not sure. And then it's like, are you– do you have purple hair? Yes or no? And so, like, then you're like on one track. You know what I mean? It like filters you down to it's like, you should try the OCD group. You should try the, like, Desi South Asian moms group, you know?

Kristina:

Yes. I love that.

Dani:

We don't currently have that, but–

Kristina:

We don't currently have that. But one of the nice things about, I love it. I also think one of the nice things about not having that is that when you do go, it gives you a um, when you're looking at the website, it does give you a description. So it feels like, okay, I'm not just pigeonholed to just be in this group or I can only be in this group. This one looks like it could apply to me. So I'm gonna try it. And if I feel comfortable here, then I keep attending here. If this one looks like it doesn't apply to me at all, then yeah, probably not gonna be it. So it also gives people the opportunity to sort of feel out what is right for them too.

Dani:

Great.

Emily:

I have another question.

Kristina:

Yes.

Emily:

Okay. I have read the description. I have felt seen in the description. I have gone into ShareWell, I've signed up for this group, I'm there on time, I get in and I'm like, I'm not sure this is for me. Oh my gosh. I then am feeling like it's maybe not a good fit.

Dani:

Oh.

Emily:

Do people ever like leave the group early? Are you allowed to do that? Like what happens if you get in there and you go, ooh, I don't think I'm in the right class, you know?

Kristina:

Yeah, you have agency all the time. If you don't feel comfortable, absolutely you can leave. The other thing you need to know is that when you are in the groups, you can have your camera on. You can have it off if you want.

Dani:

That was my next question.

Kristina:

Yes, the only time it is required is for introductions. We do that because we want to make sure that we're keeping the space psychologically safe, that we know who is in the space with us. But if you don't feel safe and comfortable with your camera on, it's okay to turn it off. So we love to see your face. We love to be able to create that community, but we want you to feel safe and comfortable first. So that's also an option because some people are like, maybe it's the right place, but I don't know, but I don't want to leave. So try it out. It's okay. But if you do, yes, you always have agency to exit the group and return to a different group.

Dani:

Yep.

Emily:

I feel like these are the things that would come up for me. I'm like, remembering postpartum me, and I would have been like, okay, but what happens if I get in there and I'm uncomfortable? Like, what happens if I get in there and I'm monopolizing the conversation, but you guys are trained to help me take a beat?

Dani:

Yes.

Kristina:

Yeah. You don't need to worry about that.

Emily:

Yeah.

Kristina:

Exactly. We're there to help guide you.

Dani:

Amazing. That's good stuff. Well, I guess as we are wrapping up our conversation about support groups here, I have two questions, slightly different, but slightly similar. What would you want help seekers to know about support groups? And what would you like providers who are supporting folks in the perinatal period to know about support groups? Two pronged.

Kristina:

I think the answer is the same for both, is it is going to help immensely to be a part of support groups because you know you're not alone. And there is community– or there's healing in community, is what I mean. When you are together and you know you're not alone, it's not a snap of the fingers, now I'm okay, but it is a pathway to feeling better and to healing. So I think as a provider, knowing that to tell your patients and your clients, it's really important. And I feel like as a help seeker, it's really important to know that.

Dani:

Oh, that's lovely.

Emily:

That's so true.

Dani:

We will put links to the support groups in the show notes. I forgot to ask, if somebody is interested in possibly volunteering as a support group leader, how does that work? Is there a link on the support group's website for volunteering?

Kristina:

There's general information on PSI's website on how to volunteer. If you are specifically interested in support groups, you can certainly reach out to that groups @ postpartum.net. We don't allow like observers to come to support groups because we keep the space safe.

Dani:

Yeah.

Kristina:

But if that's something that you're interested in and it's specific to support groups, you can always reach out to that same email.

Dani:

Okay. Yeah, we'll put a link in the show notes. There are lots of ways to volunteer at PSI. Support groups is one of them.

Kristina:

Yes.

Dani:

And sometimes you have enough of a pool of support group leaders, right, Kristina, that you don't necessarily need– you don't have a need for new volunteers. And then sometimes you might need to, you know.

Kristina:

Exactly. It ebbs and flows. And, um, I'm personally not in charge of that. So I don't know where we're at with that. But yes, it it absolutely is something that, you know, volunteers are needed always in all different areas. And it's definitely something that if you want to–

Emily:

Even if you're just getting on the list for later.

Kristina:

Exactly. It's something, yeah, you are interested in, definitely let us know.

Dani:

Awesome. Well, is there anything, Kristina, that we haven't asked you? We did ask you a lot of questions. Some that were on script and some that were off script. And you've done fantastic. So thank you.

Kristina:

Thank you.

Dani:

Is there anything else that we missed? Uh, didn't ask. That you wanted to add?

Emily:

What's your favorite pizza topping?

Dani:

Emily.

Kristina:

Oh, pepperoni.

Dani:

Oh, okay. Do you ever have, like, icebreaker questions? Like when you do the intros, like, do you have icebreakers to help people?

Kristina:

Sometimes. I don't particularly love the icebreaker questions, but that's just me. I think every facilitator is different. And that's kind of what's nice too, is you're gonna have different facilitators who are different facilitators, right? So different personalities, but I don't so much love that.

Emily:

Yeah.

Kristina:

I kind of like to start off with we all know why we're here. So what's on your heart and mind? Like, let's just talk. And that's kind of how I like to start it.

Dani:

Who cares about pizza? I want to talk about feelings.

Kristina:

I mean, I care very much about it when I'm hungry, especially.

Emily:

That's what I'm saying!

Kristina:

Yes.

Dani:

Emily looks shocked. Okay. Well, with that, if we don't have any other questions to ask Kristina, it sounds like we may have covered it. Do you want to take us out, Emily?

Emily:

I would love to.

Dani:

Okay.

Emily:

Christina, I think when you introduced yourself, you listed like, I don't know, five or six things that you do to help people. I'm gonna call you like the quintuple threat, the sep- septuple threat. Whatever. I'm literally making up words. It's fine.

Kristina:

I like it.

Emily:

I am looking forward to your personal episode so that we can talk more about you as a human.

Dani:

A little Easter egg here.

Emily:

But I think you have really brought the human element to talking about support groups. I hope that people who listen to this episode come away feeling like they know what to expect, they know that they belong, and they know how to join one. So thank you.

Dani:

Thanks, Kristina.

Kristina:

Thank you so much.

Dani:

Thanks for tuning in to the I Am One podcast. Check out today's show notes where we'll drop links to all the important things that we mentioned in this episode. Please consider sharing about I Am One on social media and following and rating our show wherever it is that you listen to podcasts. It only takes a minute of your time, and well, that'll help our collective mission of bringing resources and local support to folks worldwide. From everyone here at PSI, thanks again for listening.

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Dani Giddens (she/her)

Host
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Emily Jankowski (she/her)

Co-host