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I AM ONE Podcast by Postpartum Support International
Connect with PSI through the power of storytelling!
Perinatal mental health advocates share their personal journeys through pregnancy and postpartum, detailing how they found support, discovered PSI, and now help others.
Through storytelling, we bring PSI’s message to life: You are not alone. You are not to blame. With help, you will be well. Each episode affirms that Perinatal Mental Health Disorders (PMHD) affect many—and each of us can say, “I AM ONE.”
Whether you're seeking connection or a way to advocate, we offer space for both the serious and the lighthearted. There is strength in healing and power in sharing— so that's what we’re here for!
I AM ONE Podcast by Postpartum Support International
STACEY FIGG - I AM ONE PPA Inpatient Survivor Turned Postpartum Doula & Fierce PMH Advocate
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
TRIGGER WARNING: Traumatic Birth
On today’s episode, we’re sitting down with one of our dearest friends and colleague, Stacey Figg. She is a postpartum doula, a PSI staff member in the coordinators program & one of the silliest, funniest, realest people we know. Today you’ll hear about some of the most serious & vulnerable moments from her entry into parenthood, and how her lived experience at an inpatient facility that was poorly equipped to serve the perinatal population is now positively impacting folks in her community, and specifically at that same facility today! You don’t want to miss this one! So, without any further ado, please sit back, relax and enjoy this episode with our friend, Stacey.
Mentioned in today's episode:
- PSI Coordinators
- PSI's Postpartum Planning Class for Expecting Parents
- Podcast: Armchair Expert
- Books: Screaming on the Inside; Untangled; The Four Agreements
- Contact Stacey: sfigg@postpartum.net
Interested in sharing your story?
Fill out our podcast interest form here!
Questions about the I AM ONE Podcast?
Email Dani Giddens - dani@postpartum.net
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Welcome to the I Am One podcast, where we talk to perinatal mental health advocates, professionals, and educators supporting the mission of Postpartum Support International. We're not afraid to ask our guests about the hardest parts of pregnancy and postpartum because we know that PSI has tools and resources to help in every situation, and everyone should know about them.
Emily:Whether you are among the 1 in 5 moms, 1 in 10 dads, one of many trans or non-binary parents, or you're one professional or advocate committed to helping folks in need, you are also one of us.
Dani:I'm your host, Dani Giddens, and I am one in five. I didn't know what to call what I was experiencing after becoming a parent and felt too scared at the time to speak up.
Emily:Not anymore, now she won't stop talking about it. Hi, I'm your co-host, Emily Jankowski. I'm also one in five, and I want you to know that mental health complications are common but they aren't normal.
Dani:There's something powerful in knowing I am one of many. Whether you're already connected to the perinatal mental health world, looking for new ways to support parents and families, or just want to hang out with us in your earbuds, we are so glad that you tuned in.
Emily:Of course they want to hang out with us. We're lovely. Seriously, though, the views, thoughts, and opinions expressed on this pod are the speaker's own. Tuning into this podcast is, spoiler alert, not a replacement for therapy, but PSI can help you find a therapist. We could also help you find a psychiatrist, a support group, or Waldo. Emily, Waldo?
Dani:Come on, we don't know where Waldo is.
Emily:Okay, fine. PSI help seekers can find peer support and resources in their area.
Dani:At PSI, we want you to know, you are not alone, you are not to blame, and with help, you will be well. On today's episode, we're sitting down with one of our dearest friends and colleague, Stacy Figg. She is a postpartum doula, a PSI staff member in the coordinators program, and one of the silliest, funniest, realist people that we know. Today, you'll hear about some of the most serious and vulnerable moments from her entry into parenthood and how her lived experience at an inpatient facility that was poorly equipped to serve the perinatal population is now positively impacting folks in her community and specifically at that same facility today. You do not want to miss this one. So without any further ado, please sit back, relax, and enjoy this episode with our friend, Stacey. Stacey, welcome to the podcast studio, friend. Oh my gosh, it's so exciting to be in here with you. Get to have a little bit of a coffee hour with you, midday coffee hour.
Stacey:Yes.
Dani:We don't often get a chance to hang out, so this is really exciting.
Stacey:I know, it's exciting to be with both of you.
Emily:All right, so Stacey, why don't you introduce yourself, name, pronouns, favorite pizza topping, whatever you think people need to know, like a short list.
Dani:Last four of your social, you know?
Emily:No, no.
Dani:Oh, sorry. That's not- different podcast.
Stacey:You know?
Dani:Yeah. Okay.
Stacey:So I'm Stacey Figg. I live in Michigan. My pronouns are she and her. I have a 14-year-old daughter named Riley and an 11-year-old son named Rowan and a husband. No animals currently in the house except my two furless figlets. Yes, figlets. Always use that term on social media for them. I am currently employed at PSI as the Support Coordinators Network Specialist as a part of the coordinator program. I am also a postpartum doula in my community serving women and families who are either at high risk for a perinatal mental health disorder or are currently experiencing one. So that is me in a nutshell.
Emily:That's cool. What do you do in your postpartum doula stuff? Like what, what's a typical postpartum doula gig look like for you? Just out curiosity.
Stacey:So I provide in-home support for women and families who have just given birth, whether it is their first baby or perhaps their fourth. I have even supported a family who is a woman who just gave birth to her eighth child. And I actually said to her, I'm not really sure what I can help you with. But actually, at the time, she was struggling with breastfeeding and her daughter was having some issues with a tongue tie. And I didn't work with her very long, but after the fact, she had shared with me that it was more of her really admitting to herself that she was able to reach out and ask for help than really the help itself. So that was interesting to know. And I was happy that she shared that with me. But yeah, providing in-home support, physical, mental, emotional support for women and the family unit after they come home from the hospital. Sometimes I'm even supporting them during pregnancy in some capacity.
Dani:Incredible. Yeah.
Stacey:I love what I do. I always say that we kind of treat labor and delivery and the postpartum time like a wedding. We plan and plan and plan for labor and delivery like we do a wedding. We plan for this big, outrageous event, and we tend to forget what comes afterwards. So we plan for the wedding and forget that there is this relationship that we need to foster. And we forget that we need to say "I do" to our partner really every single day versus just during the marriage ceremony. Same thing with labor and delivery and the postpartum timeframe is that labor and delivery really makes up a rather short timeframe, if you look at it as a whole. Where the postpartum time, you know, there is a baby and a parent that needs to be fostered and nurtured afterward. Actually, PSI does offer a free postpartum planning class that is about an hour and a half to two hours long.
Emily:Oh, that's a good one.
Stacey:Yeah, twice a month. And so I love teaching that because it does really put an emphasis on the emotional well-being of the birthing person and their support person. So it's a little bit different because we do really specifically focus on the emotional support. Yeah.
Dani:I took a childbirth prep class and I do not remember talking about feelings. It was more like, here's what's going to happen before this baby blob, you know, makes its way to the outside world, you know?
Emily:Mine was like, here's the desk that you check in at. Like it was totally logistics based.
Stacey:Yeah. Well, that's what they usually are. I didn't even take a class because I was like, oh, I saw my sister give birth and helped her. So no.
Dani:I thought I knew too.
Stacey:I'm going to take a breastfeeding class. I think I, since I saw it, I can do it. So I didn't even take a class. I, my birth plan was vaginal birth and to breastfeed because what can possibly go wrong with that? Everything.
Emily:I have some ideas.
Stacey:Yeah.
Dani:That is a great segue, Stace, into our very first question. Could you enlighten us? Tell us a little bit more about how perinatal mental health complications or disorders have played a role in your life personally.
Stacey:So 14 years ago in 2010, I was very pregnant. I actually had pre-existing anxiety, which I had gone off medication to get pregnant. Pregnancy went really well. However, we did move when I was 30 weeks pregnant, which I would not recommend. Even though it was only like a five block move, I still wouldn't recommend it. But like I said, my birth plan was pretty simple. I wanted a vaginal birth and I wanted to breastfeed. And so I did find myself 10 days overdue. However, I did go into labor on my own, which I was happy about. Labored all day, all night into the next day. I did dilate to a 10, but baby was not wanting to come out on her own. So my OB knew that I wasn't comfortable with the vacuum or forceps, and she wasn't comfortable with that at the point we were at at like 30 or 35 hours. But things were happening with heart rates and whatnot. So she decided on a C-section, and I agreed with that. At that point, I was just like, can we get the baby out?
Dani:Right.
Emily:Stick a fork in me, I'm done.
Dani:You felt comfortable with it. You were like, okay.
Stacey:At that point, yeah. So we got prepped for the OR. And once we were in the OR and things started to happen, I was a little bit uncomfortable because I didn't understand what was going on. At one point, I did hear the OB say, I need another set of hands, stat. And I did get really worried because I didn't know what was going on. I didn't understand, honestly, what a C-section entailed. I knew it was surgery. I knew it obviously, you know, there was an incision involved and all of that. But I really didn't know that it was major abdominal surgery.
Dani:Oh, yeah.
Stacey:So what had happened is Riley was stuck in my vaginal canal and they needed to push her out.
Dani:Oh.
Stacey:Through my vagina because she was so big. So that's what they needed an extra set of hands for. So the C-section for me was traumatic, not necessarily in a medical sense. So anyone in the OR who is used to doing an everyday C-section would have thought it was very routine. But for me, because I didn't know what was going on necessarily, plus I was in labor for 30, 35 hours, you're kind of in this kind of delirious state anyhow. It was traumatic for me. Riley ended up being 9 12 and 23 inches. I'm only 5'3. So thank God it was a C-section, but honestly.
Emily:9 12?
Stacey:Yeah.
Dani:And 23 inches. I don't know if I've heard of babies that long. I mean, they exist, but.
Stacey:Once it was all said and done, you know, I was able to successfully breastfeed, but that C-section for me really was my first failure as a mom. A 50% grade was failing for me in the black and white world that I lived in. So that was really hard for me to get over for a very, very long time, especially because that was my plan. I'm very type A, perfectionist mentality.
Emily:And you failed at your plan, right?
Stacey:Yeah.
Emily:Same.
Stacey:I didn't meet my expectations. And so that was very hard for me. The crying and the anxiety started almost immediately after. A lot of it, I do have to say, was baby blues, because I would even say, like, I'm crying and I don't even know why. Like, the crying wasn't attached necessarily to anything. But the day we went home, I suffered my first panic attack, really unbeknownst to me. I just blamed all the symptoms on the newness of being a mom, hormones, exhaustion, all of that. But once down the road, when somebody finally explained to me what a panic attack is, I realized what was happening and that I was suffering from panic attacks. I had never had one before, but I was laying on the couch resting. Riley was in another room and I woke up in just like I was having a heart attack, essentially. that had never happened before. That's how things really started to materialize. The panic, the anxiety, and lack of control for me, really. I mean, you can't control what a newborn does. And so that lack of control. And then I started to obsess to try to do what I could. So keeping track of different things. So keeping track of her feeding schedule, her sleep times, her awake windows, how much she was being held, her bowel movements, her wet diapers, anything you could tally, I was tallying. If she had a quote unquote good day, I had a good day. If she didn't, then I didn't. And the worse my anxiety got, it started to disturb my sleep patterns. So I wasn't able to rest during the day, you know, sleep when the baby sleeps. It's just like, that's-
Dani:That is the silliest thing.
Stacey:Yeah. That's some advice that like, please, anyone listening, don't ever give that. Don't ever.
Dani:I mean, my favorite counter to that, and I think Emily loves it too, is why don't we also just fold laundry when the baby folds laundry? You know? I mean, like.
Stacey:I love that. Yeah. Yeah.
Emily:Yeah.
Dani:We'll just do that.
Stacey:Hate it.
Dani:Just do that. Right?
Emily:Okay. So your story is so relatable to me. So here's my question. How long did you attribute how you were feeling, what you were experiencing to new motherhood before it shifted either in your brain or because someone else was like, I don't think this is just new motherhood. When did it become a diagnosed– either by you or by a professional– mental health disorder?
Stacey:You know, I was able to hide a lot of it, I would say, for a little while. I remember talking to a friend on the phone on the way to my six-week appointment and being very tearful. But then when I talked to my OB, I was like, totally fine. But then when my sleep was starting to get disturbed at night, I was reaching out to my mom and my sister saying, I'm not sleeping. I'm not sleeping. And they were saying, of course you're not sleeping. You've got a newborn. But what I wasn't able to communicate at the time was that my newborn was sleeping four to six hours stretches at night, but I wasn't sleeping.
Emily:What kind of unicorn baby did you give birth to? That's amazing.
Stacey:A 10-pounder.
Emily:A teenager.
Stacey:A two-footer.
Dani:She's like...
Stacey:A two-footer. Isn't that funny? She was almost two feet when she was born.
Emily:Two foot long, 10 pound baby.
Stacey:When I was saying like, I'm not sleeping, everybody was like, of course you're not sleeping. Like you have a newborn. But like, no, I'm not sleeping. Like I'm not sleeping. So between like the time she was born and the 10 weeks, my sleep just got like worse and worse and worse to the point where like, it wasn't even about the baby anymore. I got to be so concerned about my anxiety in my head that I couldn't stop the thought. And it wasn't even obsessive thoughts about the baby anymore. It was like, how am I going to stop this one track train in my head? How am I going to be myself again? How am I going to figure this out? How am I going to be quote unquote normal? So it got to the point where I wasn't sleeping at all. When Riley was about nine weeks, I called the OB and I told her what was going on. And so she prescribed Ambien for me to sleep and an antidepressant. I took that for, I don't know, a couple of days. The Ambien wasn't touching my sleep. Maybe one night I got like three hours. But then when I was up, I was up. And I wouldn't wake up my husband because I just knew what he was going to say. And I mean, bless his heart, but like, stop worrying or think about something else. That was not going to work. We live right by a major hospital and I can see the ER from our bedroom window. And I used to stare out our window and just look at the ER thinking like, should I just go there? Should I just walk over there? maybe something they can do will help because I didn't know what to do anymore. So finally, my mom came from across the state. And I remember when she was here, she was like, why don't you just get out for a little while? And I went to the store and I remember driving and I was just like, I felt like I was disconnecting from reality. Like all these people are out surviving, living. They're like, okay, they have kids. What's wrong with me? And my relationship, my marriage was, I wouldn't say falling apart, but definitely butting heads. My milk wasn't letting down anymore. I actually had taken my pump down the street. We had a baby boutique and they would like, had a lactation consultant, they check the pressure of your pump to make sure it was working. And I actually went and had them check it because I'm like, my pump's not working. I'm not getting any milk. I was making milk like a machine before. Riley became more... She wasn't the happy baby she had been. She was a lot more cranky again because my milk wasn't letting down. So I went to see my OB in the office. And the minute she saw me, she knew. She's like, what's going on? By that time, I hadn't slept in a week. And I couldn't even have the lights on in the exam room because my eyes were so depleted. I couldn't close them. But it was like, you can't have the light on. Can you turn the light off? She talked to John and I about what was going on and stepped out of the room and made a phone call.
Dani:Yeah.
Stacey:And she came back in and told me that I had to go inpatient, that I was beyond, that I was outside her scope of care.
Dani:That still brings up a lot.
Stacey:Yeah.
Dani:14 years later. Yeah.
Stacey:Yeah. And I've done a lot of work in between now and then, but it's very traumatic for me thinking about that day.
Emily:Yeah. Did you feel like betrayed by that? Did you feel like that was true and it was just really hard to hear? Like what was going through your head in the moment?
Dani:Or was that like another failure kind of in your mind?
Stacey:Well, it's, you know, you think about it. It's like, I always wanted to be a mom. Why can't I do this? Why am I not able to do this? Why is my body and mind betraying me? I felt betrayed by my own body and brain and just that I could not get this right. You know, I babysat and I nannied my whole life and I, you know, I always wanted to be a mom. And at the time, my sister-in-law was trying so hard to have her own child. And here I am with a child and I couldn't function.
Dani:Yeah. When in reality, it has nothing to do with willpower.
Stacey:Right.
Dani:You know, there's a laundry list of circumstances that are happening for you, you know, things are going on for you. And it wasn't about you like doing anything wrong.
Stacey:Absolutely. But at the time, you're just so out of your element. You're out of your... you're out of your mind. I couldn't read a sentence and summarize it back to you at that point.
Dani:Oh, wow.
Stacey:My mind was so in such disarray at that point. I tell people it wasn't even about the baby. It wasn't about the obsessive, you know, the OCD tendencies. I was just surviving at that point and doing what I needed to do to get through the day and to get Riley through the day, essentially.
Emily:It sounds like it was almost even like moment to moment.
Stacey:Yeah.
Emily:Like you didn't wake up and go, okay, all I got to do is get to tonight. You're like, all I got to do is get through the next like three minutes. Right?
Stacey:Yeah. So, you know, and you know, the psych hospital in town, it's like everybody makes fun of that. It's like, oh, you're going to go to Pine Rest. You're- Pine Rest. And here I was, I'm going to Pine Rest. And so, you know, she said to John, you're to take her home, get her breast pump. She's not to go in the house. You're to go directly to Pine Rest. And so we went and that was the longest ride of my life going there. And then you get there and you're evaluated. And I hadn't had very many suicidal thoughts, but then you get there and that's what they ask you about. And I get all of it now, but they were not equipped to take on a postpartum mom at that time. The intake process was very traumatic. Me being there was very traumatic. Granted, it was the only place they had for a postpartum or perinatal person. I get that. They've done a lot of work to change that, but it was super traumatic. There's a waiver you have to sign for the 72-hour hold. John and I sat there and thought about it and talked over it for 30 minutes, whether or not we were going to sign that.
Dani:What is the 72-hour hold, Stace?
Stacey:The facility has the ability to hold you for 72 hours if they think that you are a threat to yourself or others. So you can sign yourself out at any time, typically as an adult, but they have the ability to withhold you if they think that you need to be held.
Dani:So you had to say that that's okay for them to do?
Stacey:You have to give them permission that if they think clinically that.
Dani:Okay.
Stacey:And that was something I had no idea that I was going to encounter. And so we sat there in that room to talk it over. And it's interesting because John said to me, why don't we just go get a hotel room and you can sleep? And that just goes to show how misunderstood these conditions can be. Because I couldn't sleep. Even with medication that I was given, I could not sleep. My brain wasn't allowing me to. And that's exactly what I said. I said, I don't have a choice. That's not how it works. And bless his heart again, he was just trying to help. We were brainstorming how to avoid this. But those are some of the misconceptions that are out there about mental health in general, not just perinatal mental health. So we signed it and John wanted to see the unit, but you can't see the unit because of HIPAA. And so away I went down the hall on my own where there was no one I was able to relate to. It was a co-ed unit. It was very, very hard.
Dani:Not just perinatal population. Were you like the only one in the perinatal period there? Interesting. Okay.
Stacey:Yeah. And so you're going to groups, support groups, but they're not specialized. And so that's why it's so important that women, birthing people, people in the postpartum period, find specialized care and specialized providers. So what PSI offers for everything from our support groups to the PSI provider directory, so important that there's specialized care because it was so hard for me to get that there. Really the best thing that came out of my inpatient care was the pharmaceutical intervention that I received because they can change your meds like on the dime. You can go from 25 milligrams of Seroquel to 125 in a night if it's not working. I was given permission by the psychiatrist that I saw to not go to group and just to get rest. because that's what I really needed. So that was great. I was given permission for Riley to come to the facility. That was great. Although we decided not to have her there for a number of reasons. But I had to bring my own breast pump. They didn't have breast pads there for me. I woke up with a soaked t-shirt every morning. It just was not suitable. However, they did know how terrible my experience was there. And I was there for eight days. When I got out and got over the humiliation and the guilt and the shame of it all and started to share my story, they learned of my experience and I was able to help them develop their mother-baby unit that's now been around for 11 years. So yeah, and I even worked on the unit there. So I worked per diem as a nursery assistant there for three or four years. That gave so much meaning to my story.
Dani:Did it feel full circle?
Stacey:Yes.
Dani:Yes.
Stacey:So it just so happened that when I was there on the unit, the psychiatrist that treated me was the head of the MSU forensic psychiatry program, because it just so happened like the unit was really full at the time. So he came in to help. He was amazing. His wife had just had a baby. And one day I was working on the mother baby unit and was walking down the hall and there he was, Dr. Sanders. And he stopped and he gave me a hug. And I was like, how does this man remember me like who I am? And it's so full circle and gives my like experience and my struggle so so so much meaning. Like I said they didn't even have a breast pump on the unit to now like a whole entire wing of that hospital having an outpatient program for moms to come with their babies and I've done like a number of spots for, you know, whatever tv programs and have done a commercial for them and just a lot of different marketing.
Dani:You've been on TV?2
Stacey:TV.
Dani:Emily, we're learning new things about Stacey.
Emily:We're going to need sign autographs.
Dani:We'll have a table for you. We'll have a table for you at the PSI conference. You'll be at the pod table. Nobody's going to want to talk to us. They're going to be like, Stacey, you've been on TV.
Stacey:Yes, TV. Absolutely. No billboards yet, but TV.
Dani:Okay. I mean.
Emily:It's good to have goals.
Dani:Goals. Yeah. Exactly.
Emily:Okay. So throughout all of this, when does PSI come into the picture for you? Like, was PSI part of your recovery? Or was this like, afterwards, you went, how did I not know about this the way that the rest of us, a lot of us?
Stacey:Yes.
Dani:Right.
Stacey:So I became a huge, like maternal, perinatal mental health or mental health advocate, probably, I don't know, a year after my recovery. Right after I was discharged from inpatient, there was this fantastic in-person support group that I went to. For six months, I went for myself. The next six months, I went for other women to support other women. I found out that there was a coalition in our county for perinatal mental health, and two women facilitated that support group, Kathy Buchanan, who unfortunately just passed away this year. And then Nancy Roberts. And Nancy Roberts started a coalition with the Kent County Health Department. She's actually one of the women that did the red quilt for PSI. She's also a coordinator for us. So they started a coalition and our coalition would bring PSI in every couple of years to do a training. So in 2017, we had brought PSI in to do a training at Pine Rest, actually. And Birdie mentioned volunteering for PSI on the helpline. And I was like, oh, I think I'm going to volunteer on this helpline. So I started volunteering for PSI in 2017 on the helpline. So that was my initial touchpoint with them. So I still do that, volunteer on the helpline.
Dani:Wow.
Stacey:I just couldn't give it up. Once I got on staff, I was like, oh, I still can do it. And then I once upon a time saw a job posting and I was like, oh, I'm just gonna like, I think I can do this with my doula, like, business. And so I applied and then I thought about it more. And I was like, if I don't get this job with PSI, I'm gonna be really mad.
Dani:Oh, good thing they hired you.
Emily:I want this real bad.
Stacey:Then I got the job at the coordinator program. So I love it. I love our club. I'm not going to lie.
Dani:Yeah. When was your first PSI conference? Was it New Orleans when we all, when we met for the first time?
Stacey:What year was that? 22?
Dani:22, I think. Yes.
Stacey:That was my first one.
Dani:Yeah. Same. Same. And we really hit it off like from the, well, we had already seen each other. I think in meetings.
Stacey:Yeah.
Dani:I feel like and we kind of had bonded.
Stacey:I know. And I didn't have any Melissa was there, but I didn't have any of my team there. Oh, right. Corey was still in the coordinator world.
Emily:Yeah.
Dani:Yeah.
Stacey:She wasn't there because she had the littles.
Dani:Yeah.
Stacey:Just had the littles. And...
Dani:Yeah.
Stacey:So I was at your table the whole time.
Dani:Oh, right. Because we had that extra chair, one or two extra chairs. And we just said, like, if you just come up, come over here. You were like, yeah. And we became like real fast friends, so. It feels so fantastic to see colleagues in real life because we all work remotely. We're all over the country, you know?
Stacey:I know, but it at the same time feels like I talked to you yesterday.
Dani:Oh, yeah.
Stacey:Those are the best friends to have.
Dani:Stace!
Stacey:I'm serious.
Dani:Oh, we heart you.
Stacey:I can talk to you like I just did yesterday. That's kind of what I meant.
Dani:Yeah. Yeah. We're picking up what you're putting down.
Stacey:Okay, good. Because I don't always articulate.
Emily:I think we have a pretty good picture of your story. Is there anything else that we need to know about it before we move into the lightning round?
Stacey:So I did do a lot of therapy after that, including EMDR for the trauma inpatient, which helped tremendously. I don't think I could have had another baby without it.
Emily:That's amazing.
Stacey:So I did go on, obviously, to have another baby. I was medicated during the pregnancy and closely watched thereafter by a plethora of providers. My postpartum was very different than it was with my first. And I was allowed to use prescriptive medication that some doctors would deem inappropriate or not safe. So I just want people to know to, again, find specialized medical providers that are confident in their treatment for perinatal birthing people, because there are things that are available to help you along the way that you can take as needed for anxiety, depression, whatever the case may be, so.
Emily:I have a question about that. Is part of the reason, like we know that there are risks, which is quite literally true of all medications. That is true of Tylenol or ibuprofen or whatever, like acetaminophen or it doesn't matter, right? I'm wondering if this is like the risk benefit thing where like there's a risk to taking any medication, but there's a risk to acetaminophen or ibuprofen. Like there's a risk to drinking caffeine. There's a risk to eating meat. Like insert whatever here, like we're, we're talking about weighing the risk to you to not take the medication, or to baby.
Stacey:Well, and that was just it. So there was a higher risk of me falling into a sleep deficit and getting into that pattern or having a panic attack and not taking a small amount of Xanax while I'm breastfeeding or taking a small amount of Ambien just to like take the edge off and get me to sleep– than taking something like an over-the-counter Unisom that can actually like ruin your REM sleep if you take it long-term. Even though it's over-the-counter, people think like, oh, it's better than taking something like Ambien. So it's always like good to get different opinions, you know, long-term versus short-term use, depends on dosage, things like that. So yes, absolutely. I heard the reproductive psychiatrist on the unit at Pine Rest, the mother baby unit, talk to moms about that all the time, the pros and cons to taking something versus not taking it. There are risks involved regardless. So you have to think. And you know what I tell my doula clients? What's good for mom is good for baby. If mom's not mentally okay, then guess what? It's going to fall down that cascade. It's going to affect the family unit so um what's good for mom is baby if that's breastfeeding, great, if that's bottle feeding, great. You have to do what's good for mom or what's good for the caretaker and everything will hopefully fall into place from there so everything has pros and cons risk and benefit, so.
Dani:Yeah.
Emily:Well, I don't know about you guys but I'm ready for a lightning round I need to hear all about what Stacey's- what else is happening here.
Stacey:Light it up!
Dani:Stacey are you ready to light it up in the lightning round? Let's do this!
Stacey:Okay, let's go.
Dani:Are you ready? Okay, Stacey, first question, dun dun dun. Okay what is your second favorite podcast besides this one?
Stacey:Armchair expert with Dax.
Dani:Yeah I love that one
Stacey:But I Am One podcast is my favorite actually. But those are the only two podcasts I listen to actually.
Emily:Okay, next question. Are you binge watching or reading or listening to anything that we need to put in our queue?
Dani:Watching, reading?
Stacey:Okay, I don't watch anything because I fall asleep.
Dani:Oh, me too. First five minutes– out.
Stacey:I don't watch anything. I fall to sleep in two minutes. But reading, I love to hold a book in my hand. I've been trying to read Screaming on the Inside for like two years. I've read the first 50 pages like three times, it's sitting right here.
Emily:I just listened to that as an audio book. So good.
Stacey:Okay, I just need to stop trying to read and put it in my ear. Don't I?
Dani:Put it in your ear. Yeah.
Stacey:Gosh, okay.
Dani:I've got a stack of books that I, yeah.
Stacey:Yeah, that's what I have right here.
Dani:Yeah.
Stacey:I read half of Untangled, which was-
Dani:Oh, great as an audio book as well. I've listened to that like several times.
Stacey:She was just on Armchair Expert.
Dani:Really?
Stacey:She just wrote another book. Yeah.
Dani:Just Glennon or Glennon and Abby?
Stacey:No, Lisa Damour that wrote Untangled.
Dani:Oh.
Emily:Yeah.
Dani:Oh, I'm thinking of Untamed.
Emily:It's a different book.
Dani:Starts with the same two letters, though. Yeah. Hello?
Stacey:And then I have The Perinatal Patient by Karen Kleinman.
Dani:All right. That's good.
Stacey:Because it's got to be about work. Actually, not even work. I read all nonfiction. And The Four Agreements. I want to read The Four Agreements again.
Dani:Stacey, what's your best parenting hack?
Stacey:No mom guilt.
Dani:Oh!
Stacey:It's not like a– it's a mental hack.
Emily:Unapologetically, no guilt.
Stacey:After my postpartum stuff, I was like, no, I, we as moms do so much for our children, for our families. Like, why do we have mom guilt? It's not allowed.
Dani:Let's just eradicate it.
Stacey:Yeah. I'm like, it's not allowed. Like, oh, I'm going out with my friend or I'm going to the gym or I'm like doing this. I was supposed to be guilty? No, no.
Emily:Yeah.
Dani:Forget that.
Stacey:I, like, created you in my body. No.
Dani:NBD.
Stacey:Yeah. My son will be like, you can't have some of my ice cream. What do you mean? I'm like, I made you in this body and you were supposed to come out of my vagina. You can give me a lick of your ice cream.
Dani:Yeah. I'll take that. Thank you.
Emily:I call that the mom tax.
Dani:Mom tax. Hashtag mom tax. Boom.
Emily:Yeah.
Stacey:Yeah.
Emily:All snacks, all ice cream, whatever I want.
Stacey:Yeah.
Emily:They order something that looks good for dinner. And I'm like, mom tax,
Dani:If they order something that looks better than I ordered, mom tax. Swap.
Emily:I don't think that's what tax is, but okay.
Dani:Okay, well, whatever. Your taxes are real steep.
Emily:100%.
Dani:100% tax.
Emily:Okay. I want to know what is one thing that today you, if you could travel back in time, whisper in your ear that you needed to hear when you were really struggling?
Stacey:Oh, my word. Just something simple, like you're good enough, you're strong enough, and everything's going to be okay. I remember my mom telling me that I wasn't going to have a newborn forever and I just couldn't see it. And one of the things I did tell my OB that day when I went to see her, is I said, I know I have a beautiful life. I know I have this healthy new baby, but I cannot feel it anymore. So that's exactly how I felt. I couldn't feel it.
Dani:Yeah.
Stacey:I wasn't functioning at the level that I had the capacity to function at, so.
Dani:Yeah. You are enough. Yeah. That's a good one. Stacey, speaking of enoughness and, you know, like treating yourself with lots of love, what is one way that you'll show yourself some really radical love today?
Stacey:Well, I did show myself some radical love by laying down for a little extra bit of time this morning after I did drop off.
Dani:Oh.
Stacey:But I would love to get to the gym. I know that sounds like not radical so much, but that is my me time.
Dani:Oh.
Emily:I think it can be.
Dani:That is super radical.
Stacey:And it doesn't happen often lately. So that's like where I check out. That would be my radical love for the day.
Dani:Yeah. That's a game changer.
Stacey:Yeah.
Dani:Awesome.
Emily:Yeah. Okay. Stacey, how do you take your water?
Stacey:With bubbles!
Dani:Ooh. Now, is it flavored?
Stacey:If I am like out and about, I will have soda water with a lime, please.
Dani:Uh-huh.
Stacey:At home, I drink this by the case.
Dani:Oh, yes.
Stacey:Three a day.
Dani:There's a can of that right next to me, right there. It's not within arm's reach, but yeah, love that. Trader Joe's, sponsor us.
Emily:Oh.
Stacey:Trader Joe's.
Dani:I love that kind. Raspberry lime, that's where it's at.
Stacey:Yeah. I like all the citrus flavors. I don't get into the other ones, but yeah. So yes, bubbles, bubbles, bubbles everywhere. unless I'm at the gym.
Dani:Yeah.
Emily:Yeah.
Stacey:Yes.
Dani:Yeah. You got me hooked on the, uh, the sparkling water, uh, with a lime wedge at the, at the PSI conference, Stacey and I are sparkling water lime wedge buddies.
Stacey:I was on spring break and I don't drink anymore. And so people when we're out, cause it makes some people very uncomfortable. So...
Dani:Yeah. Oh, that you don't drink?
Stacey:Yes. So for those that are uncomfortable with it, it makes it look like you're drinking too when you're out because the lime garnish and the bubbles, looks like you have a cocktail.
Dani:That would be another interesting podcast episode.
Stacey:It would be.
Dani:For another time. All three of us have that in common. No longer drinking alcohol.
Emily:Nope.
Dani:For various reasons. And yeah, another time.
Stacey:This is bubbly water in here. It's not coffee.
Dani:Yeah.
Stacey:Bubbly water.
Dani:Awesome. Way to stay hydrated, Stace. You really- that's radical too. Stacey, I'm just curious if anybody's listening and they're like, man, how do I get a hold of Stacey Figg? What's the best way for people to get a hold of you?
Stacey:Such a good question. You can email me at sfigg, F-I-G-G, at postpartum.net. That would be spectacular. If you have any questions, comments, concerns, or questions about my story, I'd be happy to answer them.
Dani:Perfect. Well, this was lovely.
Stacey:It was so lovely to be here, friends.
Dani:Emily, you want to take us out?
Emily:Thank you so much for dedicating a little, little sliver of your afternoon to us. I think it's so important to like normalize inpatient, normalize how difficult the journey to like finding the right medication, to being comfortable with medication when we're taught that like you shouldn't do any of that. So thank you so much, especially for sharing those parts of your story, because I think it's like we need to just keep having these conversations. Yeah. Thank you.
Dani:Thanks, friend. Thanks for tuning in to the I Am One podcast. Check out today's show notes where we'll drop links to all the important things that we mentioned in this episode. Please consider sharing about I Am One on social media and following and rating our show wherever it is that you listen to podcasts. It only takes a minute of your time and, well, that'll help our collective mission of bringing resources and local support to folks worldwide. From everyone here at PSI, thanks again for listening.
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